23-year old Oregon man (who will never be Florida man, despite a valiant effort) Anthony Clark was recently arrested while tripping on LSD after stealing a car right in front of cops and leading them on a chase. Apparently police were waiting for a tow truck to remove a 2003 Toyota Camry from a suspected drunk-driving incident when Clark saw the vehicle, told them he was going to steal it, then did, thanks to the keys still being in the ignition. Personally, I’m a firm believer that if the keys are in the ignition then you’re not actually stealing, only test driving.
While speeding through Ashland, Talent and Phoenix, Clark crashed through chain link fences off the roadway, ran over spike strips twice and drove the wrong way down several roads, the sheriff’s office said. After several attempts, a patrol car managed to bump the rear of the Toyota and cause Clark to spin out in Medford. Clark tried hitting a patrol car, then ran from the Toyota. He fled into a mobile home park and was arrested by police as he was trying to steal another car, the sheriff’s office said.
After his arrest, Clark told authorities he was hallucinating so hard he thought he was actually playing Grand Theft Auto, which, to his credit, he absolutely was. You should ducked into a Pay ‘n’ Spray to lose that wanted level, bro!
Thanks to ClosetNerd, who agrees somebody needs to invest in a Playstation.