In a relationship, I want you to send the first text. I want you to plan dates. I want you to introduce me to your parents. I want you to mention my name to your friends. I want you to screenshot my selfies. I want you to offer me your jacket when you catch me shivering. I want you to put effort into our relationship.
Don’t worry, because I am going to do the exact same thing. I am going to schedule plans. I am going to surprise you with presents. I am going to spoil you rotten. I am going to give you as much as I expect in return. I am going to make sure the relationship remains balanced, because it’s unfair for one of us to be putting in all of the effort.
If I have strong feelings for you, I am not going to run in the other direction. I am going to take a chance on you. I am going to reply to your texts quickly and agree to weekend plans even when I’m feeling under the weather. I am going to set aside time for you if you mean something to me.
If you feel like you are chasing me, it’s because I am not interested in you. It means I am trying to let you down easy instead of looking you in the eyes and saying it is never going to happen.
I am not the kind of person who believes in sending mixed signals and playing hard to get in order to impress crushes. I make my feelings obvious. I talk about my emotions. I let my heart dangle from my sleeve.
If I want to date you, then I am going to compliment you. I am going to initiate conversations. I am going to flirt shamelessly with you. You are going to know exactly how I feel about you because I do not know how to act subtle.
If I am ignoring your texts, if I am giving you excuses every time you ask to hang out with me, then you do not have to try harder in the hopes of keeping my attention. You do not have to fight for me, because it will only be a waste of your time. If you feel like you are chasing me, it’s because I am not interested and am not sure how else to get my point across without hurting your feelings.
If I wanted to date you, then you wouldn’t always be the one texting first and scheduling plans and saying how much you missed me. We would both be doing that.
The bottom line is that you do not have to chase after me. If I’m interested in you, then I am going to make it obvious. I am going to exert effort. I am going to meet you halfway. I am going to make sure you feel loved, because that is the way I want to feel.